I don’t know what to do with the grief I’ve felt since November, so I’m sharing my heart the only way I know how – by writing about it. This is just a stream-of-consciousness share – it has no cadence or resolution. Just words. My heart is breaking for my country, which so many fought to keep free, but now accepts fascism as an acceptable American value. Jesus weeps, I’m sure. And so do I.

By: JANA GREENE

Forgive them, Father. The know not what they do.

Except that some of them know damn well.

And therein lies the crux of the matter.

Some of them know damn well.

And what do you do with that?

Some of them knew that this would happen –

the loss of basic human rights.

They just didn’t think it would happen

to them.

It’s a ball of confusion, this world,

as Marvin Gaye crooned.

Evolution, revolution, gun control, sound of soul,

shooting rockets to the moon, kids growing up too soon,

and politicians say more taxes will solve everything,

and the band plays on.

And see,

it pisses me off that the band plays on.

It plays as I’m screaming “stop the world!

I want to get off!”

It plays on no matter how heavy

the hearts of its populace.

I’m trying to find my grace footing,

in a world gone mad, but it’s hard.

Making waves only works

if there is water in the pool,

and we – Americans –

seem to have run dry of compassion.

The band plays on, over the cacophony of hatred.

And I am excedingly salty at the moment, because

some of this chaos could have been prevented,

but a sizable number of Americans decided

it wasn’t worth preventing.

It was a gamble most dangerous,

and half of us thought

meh, it’s fine. It’ll be fine.

And that is my struggle,

and maybe yours too.

God surely forgives the shortcomings

I am short of forgiveness for.

Merciful where I am merciless.

But I weep for this ball of confusion,

confused by those who knew damn well.

And find myself embittered

by a band that plays on,

and on,

and on,

because of us,

and in spite of us.