By: JANA GREENE
Two people step on an elevator, exchanging pleasantries, 2025-style:
“Hello,” says Mr. Smith.
“Hello,” says Mr. Jones.
“I noticed how at the meeting this morning,” says Smith. “You crushed it! I’d have never even known your whole world was falling apart!”
“Thanks!” said Mr. Jones. ” I just read the book, ‘How to Mask When You’re Freaking Out on the Inside,” and it was life changing. “
“Ooooo,” marvels Smith. “I recently started reading ‘Stuffing My Feelings When the World is Ending – Smooshing Down the Doom.”
“Cool,” remarks Jones. “Have you taken the required Continuing Education class on “Losing Friends for Political Reasons?”
“Yikes, I have not. That sounds intense. I don’t think I could mask through losing friends.”
“You’d be suprised.”
“Have you listened to the Podcast, “What the Actual F*ck is Even Happening to Us?”
“No. Any good? Do the hosts deduce what the actual f*ck is happening to us?”
“Not really. They just recommend moving off-grid, shunning society, and becoming one with the wildlife.”
“What about bears?”
“Psshhh, those bears ain’t worried ’bout no politics.”
“No, I mean, bears are scary.”
“Not nearly as scary as American reality.”
“But what of the checks and balances that are supposed to protect us all from fascism?”
“Oh, the government program that enables checks and balances has been dismantled, like so many other prgrams.”
“By WHO?”
“The fascists in leadership, of course.”
“What now? None of this makes any sense!”
“It makes perfect sense if you read, ‘The Emperor’s New Clothes.”
“The book for kids by Hans Christian Anderson, wherein the emperor, along with his court, pretends to see the nonexistent clothes, tricking an entire kingdom into going along with the foolishness, leading to a comical climax when a child shouts that the emperor is naked?”
“The very one.”
“Good Day,” said Mr. Smith, pulling his mask back on as he steps off the elevator.
“Good Day,” said Mr. Jones, doing the same.
And from the elevator, a hollow, tinny rendition of “The Star-Spangled Banner” echoed, but neither of them recognized the tune.
Then, like so many Americans, they went their very separate ways, smooshing the doom down with another day of pleasantries.
Words by Jana Greene 
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